The life of a Christian is organised with the presence of a spiritual father in it. A confessor is a priest who helps a Christian grow spiritually. A Christian, as a rule, turns to him for advice and to fulfill rituals, such as wedding, baptism, and so on. A Christian comes to confession not just to any priest, but to the spiritual father whom he chooses for himself.
Taking into account the saving importance of the relationship with a spiritual father, the Church gives every person the right to freely choose a confessor: “Choose for yourself a spiritual father according to your heart” (Order of Confession). Such a relationship presupposes a high degree of mutual trust between a Christian and his confessor-priest. The choice of a spiritual father must be approached with prayer and reasoning. You can first talk to the priest, ask his advice in some simple everyday matter. However, it is worth remembering that during confession the personal qualities of the priest do not play a role. At confession, the penitent confesses his sins to God; he does this in the presence of a priest, who in this sacrament acts on behalf of the Lord and even, as it were, takes His place. The grace of priesthood gives a priest the power to absolve sins, regardless of his own level of Christian life.
The personality of a priest can, due to our human nature, either dispose us to confession, or instill mistrust and thereby hinder repentance.
It happens that at some point in life we start to feel that the understanding between us and our spiritual father has disappeared. This, of course, is sad, but does not cancel our duty to confess our sins. Moreover, realizing how persistently the devil strives to disrupt the harmony of our spiritual life, we must make every effort to find the lost understanding with our confessor.
If the loss of mutual understanding is recognized by both sides and cannot be restored in any way, the question of changing the spiritual father can be raised.
We must understand: in order to change a confessor, there must be sufficiently compelling reasons, and not an ordinary reluctance to obey him and fulfill the commandments and instructions he gives, says the book “The Sacrament of Confession” If a person is nevertheless finally convinced of the need to change his spiritual father, then in order to go to confession to another priest, he must receive the blessing of the previous confessor and sincerely explain to him the reasons for such a step. At the first confession with another spiritual father, before proceeding to the confession itself, you must definitely inform him where, when and with
whom you confessed last time, whether you received communion, whether you have any excommunication from communion and whether you received the blessing of the previous confessor to transfer to another one. And then proceed to confession and tell about all past sins – both confessed and not previously confessed, as well as about what sins penance was given and whether it was fulfilled.
“In general, having once chosen a confessor, a Christian must entrust his spiritual life to the leadership of this priest and subsequently confess regularly, and specifically to him, trying to carefully follow all his spiritual instructions and advice,” says the book “The Sacrament of Confession.” Praying for each other is a mutual responsibility of the shepherd and spiritual children. The priest, performing of the sacraments, and especially celebrating the liturgy, as well as in his home prayers, remembers all his spiritual children – Christians who chose him as their spiritual father. In turn, every Christian tries to pray for the health and spiritual salvation of his spiritual father in his daily home prayer.
